Out of ones chosen Philosophy of Life (POL) comes a lifestyle of how one thinks, feels, expresses, acts, and reacts. These, of course, are at the basis of ones success or failure in life’s “Big Picture” of Competition. I define Success as “getting what you really, really want and not getting what you really, really do not want”. Failure is the reverse, originating from people disconnections. Type I is Selfless Sacrificial Service—as when one takes the task of a less able other—e.g. heroes who give up their lives from facing overwhelming competitive odds. Type II is Private and Public Self success which comes from living up to ones own Real Self nature. Ones “ME/WE” part engages in Selfless Service (competing with oneself to prudently help others now or later). Type III is Private Self success from Constructive Self-Competition—despite not being completely successful in External World “Creature Comforts”. Type IV is Public Self “Creature Comforts” success but not success within ones Private Self. Type V lacks “Creature Comforts” + Private and Public Self success. Type VI is Miscellaneous situations.
Constructive Competition: (1) “Win”—e.g. Types II & III—include: competing against ones own record for Personal Improvement; competing to establish a record above ones self-imposed limitations; finding the best against whom to practice; competing against ones own reluctance not to be involved; competing to simply experience the pleasure of being in the game; competing against the record of the top rival or against the all-time record or all-time champion. These are done for Spiritual and/or Material purposes–e.g. to become wealthy in worth (i.e. Spiritual Beauty) and/or rich in value (e.g. material things contributing to ones well-being)–so as to progress towards a goal. As a boy, I would teach myself discipline by seeing how long I could go without “scratching the bump that itched.” One strives “everyday in every way to get better and better” (Couve), as by practicing to fashion skills and to remain honorable—even giving up an unfair advantage to do so. Self-Love does not allow any competition to do harm to oneself or others. (2) “Win-Win” was shown in Primitive Africans’ hunting game where the men brought back food to feed the community while women did gardening. At a wedding ceremony, the bride and groom’s candle (representing her and his character) lights a third candle to indicate a joining of their Spiritual Humanity to independently work interdependently toward a successful marriage. Hence, the “Third Candle” Concept implies that the marriage is more important than the bride’s or the groom’s different ways of thinking–of their moods/emotions–of their different ways of expressions—or doing selfish behaviors. Their Complementary Equal strivings together fits like Yin/Yang symbols–an inseparable “We” working together for the same goal”—whether independently or interdependently—and without a competition “score-card” of who did more. Its “ME/WE” part is helping oneself now so as to later benefit the other. In both, the “We” and “ME/WE” go together toward the same goal. (3) “Winner” is what the Chinese Sun Tzu called “Taking Whole” so that it is “Win-not Lose.” It is playing “rough” for realistic or marketplace survival, self-protection, or self-preservation but without opponents necessarily losing. “Rough” is not the same as “dirty” (i.e. brute practices) but instead, for a special purpose, is doing things that are intimidating and respected, even though the opposition does not like them (Bailey, Black Americans in the Marketplace p200).
Destructive Competition, according to African Tradition, is what is unnatural, as exhibited by humans intentionally doing harm to each other or to oneself–and for any reason. Type A are Win-Lose. Subtype A (1) is exhibited in all competitive Team or Individual Sports, if losing is not a learning lesson. Subtype A (2) is Mean Predator/Prey—i.e. hate-filled predators using scapegoats to feel superior. Subtype A (3) is “The Game” whereby the rich and powerful are dedicated to achieving status at the expense of the scapegoat poor. Type B is “Win and Lose”–striving together until envy or greed sets in (Love/Hate Relationship). Subtype C (1) “Lose-Win” is giving up ones Selfhood to be part of the Crowd. Subtype C (2) is being slave-like to another, as self-punishment or as imitating pursuers of Success (e.g. Oreos). Type D: Loser—e.g. Type V above–are drifters through life with Low Self-Esteem. Type E: Lose-Lose (e.g. feuds). Type F: Chameleon False Self people.