Rage/Anger are magnets for attracting into ones life more hateful and evil things. Only temporary relief comes from doing evil to seek revenge. None comes from a non-Sexual Masochism (deliberate infliction of self-punishment). “Making Do” from acceptance of “It’s my fate!” means winning is only by the Trigger person(s) who caused ones Rage/Anger. First it is foolish to think ones Rage/Anger has magical powers to keep trigger person(s) inside a magical prison; second, that they will automatically pay later when some unspecified abstract punishment will be handed out. Meantime, one thinks daily about the Trigger Person while one slowly self-destructs from ones own Rage/Anger. Regardless of the cause or style of ones Rage/Anger, Ancient African Sages said Step I is to get calm and remain in Peace during all adversities—no matter how bad. They recognized ones power of non-violence for healing all anger and hatred. Step II: Without attacking or running away, be ones Real Self, as when born with a Free Mind. Back then, its “live and let live” Nonaggression included gentleness, kindness, Caring, affection, helpfulness, and compassion—regardless of what others do. These African virtues are applicable to every daily living aspect–e.g. personal values, to family values, social values, cultural values, civic values, legal values, and spiritual values (Bailey, Self Esteem, p. 33). Such Soul Sunshine developed Spiritual Forces’ skills are more formidable and peace producing than any kind of physical violence (Ashby, Africa, p.607). Avoidance of continual nervous tension was a prescription of Amasis, an ancient King of Egypt. He told well-wishers when they pleaded with him to reduce the frequency of his merrymaking festivities: “A bow kept strung breaks and is useless when needed; so, it is with a man: if he did not relax he would, before he knew it, be off his head [go mad or psychotic] or suffer a stroke (Brothwell, Diseases in Antiquity, p. 713).
Step III: for handling village anger in those out of control—and still displayed by Mbuti hunter-gathers of northeast Zaire–attending villagers used humor to dilute angry atmospheres. A favorite was for all to ridicule each other–acting out the argument until everyone was enjoying themselves with laughter. Step IV: When a Mbuti child is ‘bully-teased’ to the point of tears, the other children rally around the teased child and begin a joyful game from which the teaser is excluded. This lasts until all is forgotten by everybody. Tavris (Anger, p58) calls this a small but potent lesson in the hazards of antisocial behavior and therefore bullies do not succeed among the Mbuti. The point is that ridicule and humor used for manipulation are effective antidotes to anger in small gatherings. Modification of these patterns were common-place in my all-Black community, as when an argument would break down into playing “the dozens,” causing everyone to laugh (Bailey, Afrocentric English: Bailey, Self-Esteem). Step V: Efforts can then be directed toward the involved shedding fears, anger, and giving up blame. Getting rid of “Emotional Junk” enables one to learn and cultivate how to think rationally to solve problems in daily living. Examples: avoiding problematic people; keeping ones word; and doing the “has to be done” hard work without any like/dislike opinions—and instead being creative in making fun out of “doing the necessary.” Step VI: Assertivenessis a non-aggressive anger expressing way to semi-diplomatically change Trigger situations—perhaps by finding out more of what occurred in the situation and/or within oneself. Or, it may involve creating, discovering, or gathering information about how to handle some difficult problem. From these actions, one may learn to do more self-questioning/reasoning with each act; more investigating; find easier ways of doing something familiar; give more attention to detail, or do more laughing at oneself. Step VIII: Create ways to constructively use ones Rage/Anger—e.g. start a school, do community service (e.g. tutoring, mentoring), run for office.
Step VII: Europeans’ “Divide and Conquer” have always been a main way to keep Colored Peoples from rising out of oppression. Temporary examples in USA history occurred when, rather than manifest overt violence, Colored Peoples showed “Tempered Anger” through measures like demonstrations, protest, or litigation. Such displays of disapproval bring to the notice of “authorities” the lack of satisfaction with a given situation. Daily expansion on this unites people to fight against chronic injustices which prevent first class citizenship. jabaileymd.com; JABLifeSkills; Theievoice.com