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OVERCOMING UNDERSTANDING’S SELF-SABOTAGE

by Dr. Joseph A. Bailey II, MD., FACS on 19th-August-2017

Pause for a moment to go back to the time of your first significant real romance. The moment of Awareness of each other was wonderful. It reached fever-pitch excitement upon being Introduced. Remember your eagerness to get Acquainted and the delights of becoming Familiar, so as to begin bonding. Eventually, by “really knowing” each other, there occurred a display of Internalizing where both now moved in the same direction, at the same time, at the same speed, and toward the same goals. Note the different stages of ideas inside Aware (like seeing only the outline), Introduced (only scratching the surface), Acquainted (seeing attractive aspects of the obvious), Familiar (knowing much of the obvious and a little of the hidden), and Internalized (knowing the obvious, much of the hidden, and some of the foundational philosophy of each other). As opposed to the Internalization used by deep thinkers, the “big four” levels of Understanding are flawed and worsened by self-sabotaging sayings: (1) “I only want to know the “gist”—i.e. only what I want to know”; (2) “I will add to what I know on a “need-to-know” basis”; (3) “I’m too busy to know more”; or (4) “I already know that,” when another starts elaborating on the subject. Most devastating about these attitudes is that when used upon doing research, one dooms oneself to Fantasy ignorance—leading down a slippery slope into needless daily struggles. Such a position concerning Serious Business makes one a Sloppy thinker who stops short of seeking Truth and wanders away from it. To avoid Internalizing Truth erodes and corrodes ones mind. 

To only deal with the ‘big four” in Serious Business is like having various bones removed from ones body. To do this mentally means Understanding can never happen. That makes one mentally weak and leads one to confusing, conflicting, and ambiguous decision-making and problem-solving. Mental weakness drives one to fill informational gaps with ‘the wrong,’ if not ‘the bad’. So, for very high priced advice and support, the Weak follow “big four” members—themselves Ignorant, Fools, Stupid, Con-Artists, or Wicked. When Sloppy Thinking becomes a lifestyle, one never gets out of trouble since each bad result powers a vicious cycle that PREVENTs one from getting what one really, really wants while showering one with what one really, really, DOES NOT Want. After realizing their way does not work, their inability to do sound Thinking haunts them many times daily: “I’m not qualified to take charge/control of myself/anything, what I do, or situations I’m in.” This Selfhood weakness becomes a “Raw Nerve” which the Weak themselves do not want to admit nor allow others to see or even know. Hence, they self-protect by locking into their illusions; acting tough; “Escaping” into addictions–like television, Flashing Light Gadgets, the Crowd, Drugs, Alcohol. They jump into streams beyond their control and are unable to get out (e.g. gangs); ridicule Nerds for wasting time “reading”; and verbally attack or bully the successful because “misery loves company.” 

A place to start reversing self-sabotage is with ones self aim to achieve insight into ones inner Circle of Wholism. To “Know Thyself” is to discover the full “SOBMER” Process (an acronym for Source, Origin, Beginning, Middle, End/Consequences, and Result). The Source is knowing where one came from before being born into the Earth World; the Origin of oneself is what one possessed at birth. The major problem is for one to decide if it is worth the time, energy, effort, and putting aside Desires to take charge and control of ones life and Destiny. One of the major forces directed to keeping one in the struggling status quo is ones extreme despair from being in a life of hardship. That causes profound feelings of Shame—of being unworthy, of being deeply flawed—a sense of not having a good reason to take up space in the world. For those in a defeatist mindset, seek the one thing that still privately matters—i.e. what one is good at and/or does no harm—ones Talent! Even if ones awareness of it is only a “Gist”–a fuzzy mental representation of the general meaning of or the “how to do” of something significant or the “what something is—treat it like a first significant real romance. Do whatever it takes to become Aware of it. Then, take time normally used for “Escapes” to become more deeply Introduced to it. Institute creative ideas to become Acquainted with it; make gifts out of that creativity to help people less fortunate—the act of becoming Familiar. These ease one into “really knowing” oneself–the state of SelfInternalizing . jabaileymd.com; JABLifeSkills; Theievoice.com

Category: Dr. Joseph A. Bailey II, MD., FACS.
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