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HISTORY OF CONDITIONAL LOVE

by Dr. Joseph A. Bailey II, MD., FACS on 17th-April-2017

In African Tradition, Unconditional Love is the one and only Cosmic Ideal–i.e. perfect, permanent, stationary, enduring, eternal, all-powerful force whose "5Ss" are safety, security, self-confidence, strength, and stability. Its opposite of Love is the absence of Love, which starts Supernatural Evil. European philosophy profoundly deals with “Love” in completely different life-shaping ways. It defines “Love” as an “Emotion,” featuring “Affectionate” Physical world degrees + says Hate is the opposite of love. “Affection” (C13) refers to any mental state of emotions, feelings, or sentiments. Agreeable affections toward others consists of ideas of liking, kind disposition, warmth, tenderness, fondness, emotional attachment, and “love” (sex).  Without a Home Base, these are for chosen people–in degrees and durations—and formed as Sympathy and Empathy. Agape and Caritas are a higher or selfless love sense [meaning what?]. Erosand Amor are love forms based on Desire. Phila (Jen in Chinese or “Human-Hearted”) is “love” involved in friendship. For such kindly affections, the Greeks used "philostorgos" (philo, beloved + storge, family affection) to mean "brotherly love", as in the name Philadelphia. The idea was that ones love for humankind must be affectionate and pure–a mental operation requiring ones Will to have kindly understanding so ones heart can go out to all. Some call this "stepping outside of oneself” in order to, as Europeans’ New Testament states, express deep concern for others in need—in the way of showing of sympathy and empathy. In short, humans choose, or not, to bring these about–with a decided intensity–and for a certain duration. All of these replace Unconditional Love’s naturally conveyed Compassion by Spiritual Instincts. They as look-alikes of Unconditional Love, are “Conditional” Acquired emotions, expressions, and objects—each having as many terms as leaves on a tree. When Europeans apply them to someone or something obsessed by, or having a passion for, or an inordinate affection to experience—and then suffer as a result, many deemed that as Sinful. Its proposed opposite is confusingly an affectionate passion pertaining to such understanding of a Thing as to lovingly set ones mind on things above Sin.

Starting in 1619, Whites in the Americas, numbering in the thousands, were those who voluntarily left Europe or were “booted out” as a result of being prisoners (especially from the British Isles), prostitutes, paupers, religious dissenters, and waifs. Yet, the dominant discipline of their children was influenced by Puritans, who urged strict moral codes. Using Puritans methods, many White parents disciplined disobedient children based on the philosophy of their religious beliefs–mainly that a breakdown in family rule indicated a disregard of God's order. Since the duty of early child-care was that of the mother, most White mothers caged their affectionate emotions toward a disobedient child–a form of "Conditional love"–at least after the child was about two years old. The point was to break the child's will and to emphasize strict obedience. Besides with-holding affection, other methods used a tone of voice in gaining the child's attention and in association with a great deal of body language–an approach similar to animal trainers who mold animal behaviors. An effective "Conditional Love" method has been: "if you do not do as I say I will not love you”. The next step is: “I will isolate you from the rest of us". A third subtle tool to bring about conformity is using the intellect, rather than the “Heart,” to correctly bring forth the affections. A fourth obvious extremely effective and destructive tool in European society is to deal with all people in military style: “do as ordered!”

Passive people use their own will-power to train compatible affections into conformity habits with what authorities say is good character—a basic technique to flower virtues in White children. This stems from what one is “suppose to do” or “has to do”. Such reflects what ones society leaders deem as “humanness” to “Belong” in a “Military We” society. Thus, one honors, respects ones parents and authorities by carrying on those values since ones society says it is basic for an intact “We cult” and to ensure being protected and cared for in old age. Such a socialized sense of “Being” is not natural nor innately spontaneous. Besides, by being human-made, all of this is in constant flux–changing from one decade or household to the next–changes making one chronically unstable, mysteriously mentally uneasy, and frustrated.

Category: Dr. Joseph A. Bailey II, MD., FACS.
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