For whatever reason, people can be on the wrong track or in the wrong place, despite going in the right direction; or be on the right track or in the right place but going in the wrong direction. Those so Socialized or so choosing view their wrong way as being right and the right way as being wrong. They are as resistant to change. So are those too lazy to put forth time/energy/effort; or those nursing such significant psychic traumas as to have generated a “Raw Nerve” and needing to hide the shame of it from themselves and from others. Step I is to engage in the Overtone called Wooing. Its story began with the C11 concept of Courtly love. Its background came from works of the colorful Black Arab lover-warrior-poet Antar (Antarah Ibn Shaddad). His writings of “The Antar Romance” (580 AD)–a celebrated epic pertaining to the Arabic romance of chivalry–was the prototype for the development of European “Chivalry.” His ideas were basic to European kings’ ‘court yard’ castles in order for justice to be dispensed by to the king’s subjects. Typical of that time and continuing thereafter was that those seeking justice would "Court" (used in the non-love sense of “to seek favor”) members of the king’s entourage in hopes they would convey to the king a good impression. The keystone point was that in discussions with the entourage, the guilty would embellish themselves into an overtone of being honorable. Their pitch was to inclined their overtones so that the entourage’s full attention was given having the best intentions in doing their evil acts. To “butter-up” the entourage so as to attract them to the message, they engaged in lavish flattery and allurements. The sense of 'Attract' in its ancient context embraces 'Alluring' into something harmful by means of an enticing (exciting hope or desire) decoy possessing energetic twisting and squirming pleasurable motives or ideas of a fantasy nature. Alluring also conveys the idea of charm providing some prospect of pleasure or advantage done by purpose and endeavor. The feature of "Attract" is the drawing of "Like to Like."
Similarly, to woo those needing to improve but are resistant to change is to observe who they are, what they do, how they appear, or what they have—overtone what they pride themselves on–and lavishly compliment that. This immediately soothes their desire to be Important, to Matter, and to be shown Respect. Step II, Appreciate the Undertone positives they do inside all of their negatives—e.g. not doing as many negatives as usual; or what they did was “less bad”; or they finally did one thing of a Ma’at nature, even if by accident. These deserve compliments: “I am proud of that! See how you are improving?” “I admire what you are doing in this and in other areas.” Any given area spotlights a place on which they can focus. Step III, meaningful discussions give them a chance to be heard so that they can learn more about undertones they think about in private. Rather than having the idea of trying to “save them,” or pound in narrow-minded values, or exert authority, like “do it because I said so,” let them be the teacher of who they are. In my daily Family Talks, all of us would decide on the “Rules,” the “why’s,” and the punishments. Whenever possible, all of this was kept in an overtone humorous vain and with the “let’s make this a game” atmosphere. Step IV focuses on their self-appreciation.
Drive home their Selfhood Greatness from having a Spark of God orchestrating their lives—and carrying the same Genetics of their Ancient African Ancestors, the most brilliant people that ever lived—and possessing a Unique Talent no one has, or ever has had, or will ever have. Show how each is connected to all God’s creatures—i.e. sharing Correspondence with their brothers and sisters, since all have the same Genetics but each is unique–correspondence between them and animals—e.g. the “Sameness” of needing to eat, sleep, self-protect; between them—correspondence with plants—both need the Sun for Vitamin D. Taking them into Nature, like the ocean, helps them gets the familiar with parts of their Selfhood and the power of each part. Step V, give them individual and group work projects; make it a game to see how Perfect they can make the results. This fashions self-reliance and self-pride while also getting them familiar with the necessity for struggles that must be overcome. Step VI is to get rid of all bad Emotions—e.g. anger, hate—by discussions and having them draw pictures of their pain. Step VII, keep stressing the importance of them Keeping Their Word—always doing what they say they are going to do for that builds Self-Trust. Step VIII is to daily practice Manners. jabaileymd.com